A Different Kind of Sleep Medicine: Finding Joy in the Hours We Can’t Sleep

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop

The Midnight Mind Marathon

It was 11:17 PM, and my brain was hosting a party I hadn't RSVP'd to. You know those nights - when your thoughts don't just flow but cascade, like a computer with too many tabs open, each one demanding attention.

Lying there in the darkness, I watched shadows dance across my bedroom ceiling. My body couldn't decide what it wanted, and my mind refused to shut down. The situation was not helped by my warped circadian rhythms resulting from overnight call duties.

The thoughts came in waves:

Did I remember to respond to that email?

Me: Panicking, tomorrow is the deadline (throw off blanket)

Thought: Did the kids pack the food from the Instant Pot? (throw off blanket)

Me: No, get back to sleep! Their dad would make sure they did (pull blanket back)

Thought: What if that project deadline moves up? What if we lose the deal?

Me: (throw off blanket), (pull blanket back) There's nothing else to do. I've done all I can

Thought: Should I just get up and brainstorm a few chapters in my next project?

Me: No, just meditate and sleep, you can start that in the morning (flip pillow to the cool side for the seventh time)

This battle continued. After two hours of this mental ping-pong, I admitted defeat. I surrendered to the inevitable. I wasn't going to get back to sleep, so I got up. The clock read 01:17 AM.

I decided to make lemonade from the lemons lack of sleep had tossed my way. "Let me try hot chocolate or another cup of chamomile tea," I said to myself as I made my way to the kitchen, my fluffy nighttime socks muffling my footsteps. There's no point waking the entire household to my "sleepless-in-my-house" night party.

Finding Solace in Solitude

Making it to the kitchen, I surprisingly found some solitude. There's something to be said about the peace and quiet one gets at this time of night or morning. The quiet hum of the refrigerator, the faint ticking of the wall clock, the way even familiar objects cast unfamiliar shadows, the clarity of the mind, the anticipation of a new dawn, the promise of a new day—all mind-boggling but certainly not helping the situation.

I carved out my creative corner with surgical precision: laptop in night mode, small LED light casting a warm cocoon of productivity, phone deliberately placed face-down like a door slammed shut on the world's demands. My sleep experts would've been horrified, but if insomnia was going to win, I was determined to make it pay rent.

Normally, I am a morning person. These precious pre-dawn hours are usually my sanctuary—my time to download the tornado of my thoughts onto paper before they could spin out of control and hijack the rest of my day. But this morning, it seemed life had other plans.

The Unexpected Message That Changed Everything

When my phone screen lit up with a notification, creating a surrounding halo around it, I frowned. "Who is this?" I wondered. My first instinct was to ignore it, and I usually do. I typically don't respond to messages until I've completed my morning ritual: exercise, meditation, reading affirmations, and providing updates in my writing exercises. But this morning, something made me pause. Something made me look. It was almost as if an invisible force propelled me to check the notification (or maybe I just lacked the control to truly ignore the phone). Anyway, I checked the notification, and what I saw had me sit up with my nerves on edge. It was from a client I had been supporting; they wouldn't ordinarily contact me at this time. I was concerned.

But the message simply read: "Talking to you, Shadé, has brought so much relief. I know I am in a safe space. Thank you... I am really grateful. Giving up is no more an option for me."

In that moment, something shifted. My eyes filled with tears and my heart overflowed with joy. The frustration of sleeplessness melted away, replaced by an unexpected wave of both relief and joy—joy more prominent than relief. I wasn't sure of the circumstances under which the message was sent, but the joy I felt wasn't just simple; it was something deeper, more fulfilling. Instantly, my frustration with my inability to sleep took a back seat. My focus changed; my hopes were renewed. I felt rewarded, fulfilled, and validated with the work that I am doing. I felt joy, deep-rooted joy in my soul. I became more energized. My productivity tree started producing instant fruits and in abundance.

It turns out this phenomenon has scientific backing. The science behind this "helper's high" is quite fascinating. When we help others, our brains release not just one but a cocktail of feel-good chemicals: dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. It's like our bodies have a built-in reward system for kindness. 

From Interruption to Inspiration

Did you know? Performing acts of kindness leads to increased well-being, with the effects lasting an average of 3-6 months. Research has consistently shown that people who volunteer report better health and greater happiness than those who don't, with studies finding that 75% of volunteers report feeling physically healthier and experiencing improved mood after helping others.[1] Small acts of kindness can lower blood pressure and boost overall life satisfaction[2]; volunteering and mentoring can significantly boost the giver's emotional and physical health.[3] Kindness can decrease pain, stress, anxiety, depression, and blood pressure, while increasing energy and lifespan.[4] In short, we're literally wired to feel good by doing good.

The irony wasn't lost on me. There I was, annoyed at my sleeplessness, viewing the interruption as an inconvenience. Yet this "interruption" ended up being the very thing that transformed my frustration into fulfillment.

Studies have consistently shown that performing acts of kindness increases overall well-being and life satisfaction. But here's what's fascinating: the size of the act doesn't matter. It's not about grand gestures or heroic deeds. Those are important too, but sometimes, a simple act such as being there when someone needs to talk can create a lasting benefit, both to the giver of kindness and the receiver.

We often think happiness is something we need to chase—through achievement, possessions, or carefully planned experiences. We download meditation apps, read self-help books, and create elaborate gratitude journals. And while these aren't bad things, we might be overlooking one of the simplest paths to joy: being there for others or just simply being kind.

My sleepless night reminded me of something profound: that the moments that feel like interruptions to our happiness may actually be the doorways to it, and that when we set aside our own frustrations to be present for someone else, we often stumble upon something remarkable—the kind of happiness that doesn't need to be pursued because it finds us in the act of giving.

So, the next time you find yourself awake at 1 or 2 AM, or wrestling with restlessness, remember this: maybe somewhere in the world, someone might need exactly what you have to offer—your time, your attention, your kindness (well, maybe not at that exact time), and in offering these gifts to others, you might just find the peace you were looking for.

Because sometimes, the best cure for sleeplessness isn't forcing ourselves back to sleep—it's allowing ourselves to be awake to the possibility of connecting with others, even in the most unexpected moments.

Ready to transform your own sleepless nights - or any moments of frustration - into opportunities for connection and purpose? I've created a 14-day Kindness Challenge Guide that turns the science of kindness into simple daily actions. Each small act is designed to trigger your brain's natural joy response while making a real difference in someone else's life. Download it now and join me in discovering how giving creates the kind of happiness that sleep can't steal.

My take(or give) away message to you: Kindness is not just feel-good psychology; it's actual science—it's biochemistry.

Dr. Mofolashadé Onaolapo Haastrup

About the Author: 

Dr. Mofolashadé Onaolapo Haastrup (DrMOH™) is an Anesthesiologist and Certified Life and Executive Coach with over two decades of clinical expertise. As the Founder of NByC Growth Pathways & Solution and NByC Learning Hub, she transforms individuals and professionals into exceptional leaders through executive coaching, training, workshops, and retreats. Combining her medical background with deep insights into personal and professional development, DrMOH™ guides others to discover their full potential while maintaining work-life harmony. Her mission is to nurture and inspire, so people can create the world they envision, one transformation at a time.

#LeadershipDevelopment #KindnessMatters #HealthcareLeadership #MindfulLeadership